he who makes a beast out of himself

gets rid of the pain of beeing a man.



writing letters of application, talking to companies, practising with the band, meeting friends. hoping to get a job. writing songs. playing them with the band. forget them. writing new ones. hope to have some good ones sometime. listening to heavy music getting heavier from day to day. reading a book. drinking coke. chatting. waiting for something good. sleeping :D

seize the day (or die regretting the time you lost)

so you think my entries have been boring latley? depressive?
then maybe you have a little impression of me as a person now. haha. just joking. i am not boring! ^^ and I am happy from time to time. so stop judging me for my posts, ok? didn't force anybody to read them at all. they just help me to think clear about things sometimes. and my thoughts have been really confused in the last weeks. kinda funny how single persons are able to control your feelings so much sometimes. i'm feeling sad and kinda lost because one girl broke up with me one and a half months ago, shouldn't i feel better slowly? hm ... maybe an emotional person like me takes longer times for relief :P things are always getting better at one point, you just have to wait. i like to spend time with her as a friend anyway. i'm not a child, i can stand that. just stop dreaming and face reality. this is what i do, i'm successful with that on some of the days, but i'm not on some others. so what is right and what is supposed to be wrong? i lost the view about that a long time ago and i stopped trying to figure out what is the best way to go, i just go on and take my fate, whatever it is, whatever comes. so you might wanna know what else is new?! some little thoughts in my head deals with other things too. believe it or not :P ... Hetzi is going to move to Tyrol next week, this is the best news in ages because it is hard when your best friend lives so far away sometimes. icq, msn & cell phones help to handle that though. hehe. that also means that we can start real bandpractises next week, how cool is that??? we're going to have a photo session with zac, and we will record 2-3 demo songs in july. school is working out quite 'ok' again and i'm still looking for a job around. maybe moving into an appartment with Hetzi and his girlfriend in summer / autumn. sounds cool huh? :) yaaaaaaaaaay this post is already too long, if you read all of that you got a quite deep view into my personal hell now. better forget everything again, just my weird thoughts on one rainy day written down. don't mind. and be aware. wolves bite, and so does life!

hey

sup? im bored. watching dr. house, but i know the episode. die

melancholy

feelings suck.

emotions

Sie sagte eine Weile nichts und ich auch nicht. Wir gingen einfach weiter. Ich kam inzwischen schon besser klar mit diesem Arm-in-Arm-Gehen. Langsam fing ich an, es zu genießen und zu begreifen, dass es wirklich eine ziemlich gute Art zu gehen ist, wenn einer von beiden weiß, wohin, und der andere nicht. Man braucht nichts zu fragen und auch keine Vermutungen anzustellen, wohin es geht, man muss sich nur auf den anderen einstellen, dann spürt man nach einer Weile allein durch den Körper des Partners, wohin er will.

hey you.
I was reading the whole day, my brother had to read a book for school but he could not manage it to read it within 2 months. idiot. it took me 5 hours. or 6. dunno exactly. had some breaks for playing guitar and beating matt in some chess. a very emotional lovestory. including whores and drugs. and drug addicted whores. and violence. but it mainly was a very tragic lovestory which made me melancholic for a while. i still am. gonna watch some dvd now. ideas? hm maybe something funny. adam sandler? good idea. happy gilmore? great.

easter

celebrating the death of somebody? why not. kinda stupid though. actually i am greatful to some people, but jesus is not among them. usually you don't even get presents for easter. and what's idea about this stupid bunny? i am so sick of all the 'happy easter' shit. boring.
i wanna be happy now. jesus make me happy. then and i will praise you. i will go to every single one with a smile on my face saying "HAPPY EASTER". otherwise you and your feast still bore me. i am waiting.
i'll rather get some alcohol. cheers.

recover

life is a rollercoaster. as hannes' favorite artist RONAN KEATING said once!
i gotta clear my mind and arrange my thoughts a little bit.
TV makes me stupid. But I like that. Listening to A7X and watching stupid Jonathan Frakes in X-Factor at the same time is pretty funny. Give it a try! haha.
Hmmmm... maybe we can manage it to record a song today. We have two songs now. One of mine, it is about killing and stuff I once posted a drawing of it xD and the last 'Flying Sticks song' without a name because Matt wrote the lyrics and he needs time to think of one (it is 1 year old now *lol*).
Have a nice day. Or not. Whatever you want. Don't trust in girls. Or humans in general. I like animals. Holy shit. What am I actually talking about?!? I should become a politician. Talking about nothing for hours, I can do that. I can do it well. haha.

porcelain

uoh ... who wrote that ...
sleepless wicked me
hm
i hate winter
i want choclate
give me some, please
ease my mind

theburningred

6:05 am. didn't get one minute of sleep. kill me. i died to many times. can't stand it this time. leave me alone. i fuck things up all the time. kill me. i'd appreciate that. i am already dead. 6:10 am . sad. leave me alone. no school for me today. take the pain. could have been nice. i'm so weak. kill me. i will die. i am dead. smells like blood. leave me alone. i can't stand it. a predictable end. maybe not. i am so naiv. smells like blood. have a little faith in god. god is dead. i am god. 6:17 am. laid to rest.

swan dive

I can look back to another 'i am so depressed because i'm one year older again, now I have to get drunk'-friday. It all started when Steve came to my place to have a little jamsession with me. Some time later Maria appeared and as usual her endless talking started to make me kinda tired ;) (she's nice though!) But the real beginning of this pretty night was when Susi and Zac appeared with a bottle of prosecco. We had another one after it... At 10 pm we finally decided to bring ourselfs to go to the poolhall before we would fall asleep. We met some nice people there, some of them invited me for a drink, I invited myself some times, so you might imagine, I was drunk pretty fast and playing pool was really funny then. I was good anyway. Don't know exactly if anything interesting happened after that, but I don't think so :D

Twentytwo . Ventidue . Zweiundzwanzig (22)

So now I am 22. Doesn't feel very special, I just want to get drunk now, but I'll gotta wait till friday to have some parteey xD Somebody told me I have to make plans for family and children now, but I think I'll give it another year *haha* ... or some more ...
I'll finally finish school this year and I'm looking forward to earning my own money so much.
Just need a good job now, hm ... any ideas? mail me.
see ya

nu-metalcorehardcorepunkrockfuck

I know I am late. but who the fxxx cares?
There was a massive traffic jam on saturday so we had to postpone our session to the next day. To make it short ... it was great! I think we have a new drummer, and this one kicks ass. We'll work on some songs now and maybe even record something soon.
I went out with one of my best friends Susi which I haven't met for some weeks before and I got to know her boyfriend Zac, which forced me to speak english the whole night ... not quite easy after some beers, believe me xD
On saturday I was at Hannes place for some jammin', that was pretty cool too. And spending some time with my girlfriend after it, I was looking forward to that the whole week. All in all it was a very nice weekend once again.
Hm ... this entry has a big lack of 'weirdness' (I just invented that word), but I will catch up on that next time!

smells like rock'n roll

long time no entries, i guess that is because my life sucks as hell and it is booooooooring. but yea, here i am again, but i won't talk about my weird mind today. or maybe i will. who knows?
tomorrow i'll have some jam session with steve and our (new drummer?) domi, i'm looking forward to plugging in my jackson guitar and playing some shit. i'll tell you more about it tomorrow xD
kill.

mate-feed-kill-repeat

"grindcore is ned guad für de birn" - to quote a friend. check out 'rompeprop' this shit is really mad. i kinda like it. at least sometimes. but at the end of the day i end up with a7x, bfmv or machine head just like every day.
how to define a perfect weekend? drinking with my best friends, beeing with the most beautiful and nice girl walking on earth, heavy metal and the wonderful feeling of beeing dead on sunday morning. if this is my expectation of a perfect weekend i guess this one was pretty close. i just realized that i sound much too optimistic. i am emo. cutting myself. ewww that hurts. i'll stop that. have a nice week. +argh+ thinking of school takes me down again :/ ... better read hannes' blogs - they are longer xD

weird

sometimes life isn't that bad. that sounds kinda weird coming out of my mouth huh?!? haha ... hm i guess hating-habits will come back soon. otherwise i'll have some troubles with writing new lyrics. who wants to hear metal songs about happyness?? i guess nobody! xD ... don't take me too serious anyway. i still hate my life. and some people. many of 'em. i hate the new german voice of marge simpson. i still hate george fucking bush and odd numbers. i hate racism and it's idiotic representatives. i saw a documentary yesterday about some white people beating up a black man because of his colour. grrrrrrrrr. fuck now i want to kill somebody. or playing violent computergames. listening to manson. haha. whatever. tired i am. writing blocks sucks indeed. without television and beer timmy's going mad. without television and bee timmy's going mad. i am mad. write something to me, i am bored as hell, timmy_fs@hotmail.com ... now!!! what you're waiting for!!! i said now. damn. it's nearly 00:00 ..... whitching hour. lol. haha. fuck off.

DESI

greatest girl <3

:)

Sertycon

Listen to these lovely carinthian guys if you like metal
http://www.myspace.com/sertycon
\m/
bang that head

yay

fuck, nearly forgot to post something today. shame on me xD
so whats new ... ehm ... let's see ... i am ... eh ... there is ... ehm yeah an exciting life I have *lol*
had my last exam today and it was really hard ... hope i passed it ...
the rest of the day was just hanging around with floushy and playing some guitar ...
I finally need a band or otherwise my head will explode with all these ideas.

band

school is shit ... have to learn too many useless stuff.
but one cool thing happened yesterday, I came up with an idea for a name of our "new" band and Matt liked it, so the search might be over. we already have a couple of cool songs, and i'm looking forward to playing them with a new drummer. stay (sic) maggots xD

robert flynn

yeeessssssssssss, you're right, it's another useless musician-post.

this guy's lyrics and riffs are just *wow* ... when i heard imperium the first time it just blew me away. you may think i'm kinda music-fixed ... and yea ... everything else seems to suck somehow, doesn't it?

if you don't know machine head yet, listen to songs like imperium, davidian, days turn blue to gray, seasons wither or bulldozer ...... waaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fucking heavy metal xD

i'm going to take my guitar now and play some shit. kill

hell yeah

how do you like my painting?

Haha ... I made it after writing some violent lyrics. Usually I'm Not Into drawing or painting at all but some voice in my head made me do it. The same voice that tells me to burn down some house now. hasta la vista, I'll be back

goooooooooooooooooooooooooood mooooooooorning vietnam
just wanted to say that Synyster Gates is a kick ass guitar player, wish i had his fingers haha
ah ... and i am looking forward to buying the nu Machine [Fucking] Head CD ... already heard one song, and i like it, hope the whole record is that cool.

finally i made it. i found out how to log in here. was a hard way, but it's done now.
very complicated thing this is
what else ... hm today was one of those boring sundays ... I hate sundays, really ... if sunday would be a man, i'd burn him down, rip off his head and dig him into a deeeeeeeeep hole, and I mean really fucking deep, a hole where no zombie ever could get out.
i'll go to bed soon, ah ... wonderful monday already began ... monday is cool, because i have no school on monday. so i have time for playing guitar and writing a lot of shit in here ... muahahahahahahahahahahaha
cya

My Very First Blog

So ...
this is my first blog ... Hannes told me to start one and I always do what he tells me to do.
I really don't know what to write ... or if anybody will ever read ... but actually I don't really care.

Hm ... I'll come up with something more interesting soon I guess. visit me on myspace
Click

xxxxx